I've cut out some toxic relatives and friends out of my life these past two years. And it feels like I have no past. Despite being toxic, these are people that I grew up with and have had massive influence on my life. Family gatherings such as Christmas are gone now for me. I can't talk to these toxic friends about life in general. Even though they weren't very nice people to me I still shared my entire teenhood with them and we had a lot of things in common. Now I have no one to talk to. I've cut out so many people.
I have about 2 friends now. They are kind to me and great friends but they are extreme homebodies and don't like to go out or do fun shit. They are also workaholics so I see them once every two weeks. I feel terribly lonely. I'm pretty young and I don't go to concerts, parties, etc as I have no one to go with me.
My life consists of going to school, where I talk to NO ONE, and going to the library to study.
I'm willing to put myself out there to find new friends but it's hard to built solid friendships so soon as they take time.
Essentially, I don't know anyone in my life anymore who has the same hobbies or interests as me. I used to be emo-ish in high school but I went through some trauma at that time that made me reform myself and changed the way I dress. I guess what I didn't realize is that it wasn't for me. I've been listening to old music and rereading old books and I feel like I want to go back to that phase. However I don't have anyone in my life that I know from that period in my life. So it feels like I have no past. Or no one to recollect with, like "Hey remember when you used to _______."
I can't tell if I'm going through and identity crisis, or I'm just lonely. I feel like its both. I've just been feeling so suffocated lately. I have no one to talk to or bring back memories with.